06 August 2013

White Noise

My sister is starting to have an influence on me.
She and I have pretty much been opposites her whole life. It's always driven me absolutely crazy how she will turn on the tv or youtube but not watch it. She'd sit on her phone or computer. I'd always think "what's the point? it's just noise"

Then I realized something- her noise may be physical, while mine is mental.

...........................................................................................................................................


Okay, no I'm not crazy. I'm an over-thinker. 
My sister is a do-er and I'm a thinker. I let my thoughts and ambitions bounce around in my head until it becomes too much and I just forget it. I let my fears consume me. I let my plans develop to the point that they're so much that I don't carry them out. I let my inner white noise distract me from living my life.

This is kind of depressing, but I'm glad that I figured this out now... before I let my college years get away from me. I've got to think less, write more, and never turn down an opportunity just because it isn't quite "planned out". I've been worried about college because of this aspect of my nature, but it's something that I've come to terms with.

My apprehension to going out and my over-thinking may keep me out of bad decisions. It may help me make sure I study enough. It'll help remind me of my goals for my time at college, just hopefully not at the expense of my level of fun while there. 

This is something different for me, but I'm going to try to learn from my sister. She's been trained to tune out the white noise when she's focused on something else. I need to tune out the white noise when it's simply fear.No fun stories come from a life controlled by fear; a life lived in safety.

The excitement happens the moment you throw safety out the window