Let's Talk "Perfect"

This is something I have and probably always will struggle with-

the notion of perfection. Or, mainly, that others think I'm perfect. 

Let's make one thing clear: 

there is absolutely nothing about me that is perfect.

I think it stems from the fact that my family has been blessed beyond measure. As a 20 year old, I've had opportunities that many people only dream about doing, and I try to reflect on that daily. I come from an academically gifted family, so that makes me well-traveled, morally intact and smart, which is probably the holy-grail of "perfection". And then, to add on top of that I'm a "normal" size (whatever that means) when it comes to clothing. From my years of observation, that's what's gotten me to be perceived the way I am. Those factors are what make me "perfect" to my friends and acquaintances, and it's something that needs to be addressed. 

The label has been with me since high school, and I've been able to alleviate it some since I came to Purdue. But it still hold true in some regards, and I hate that I'm seen that way. It puts me in this awkward position- I want to open my heart and build relationships with people, but too often I'm hindered by their feelings that I'm "too good" or "so put together". Which I'm not. It's just not true.

I need to address one thing first:  that I make mistakes. I straddle the line between two worlds on a daily basis. I have thoughts flying around my head at a million miles a minute. I read Vogue between taking Organic Chemistry practice exams. I study for tests while on the elliptical. I wake up two hours early for class so that I can take my time getting ready and make myself presentable. And, I take time to prioritize my well-being over school when needed- do my nails or participate in student organizations. But it isn't easy.

What people see as "perfect" on the outside takes a lot of determination and work. I couldn't do it without the support of my family and friends, who always have my back. There are so many things I wish I could say but just can't see to find the words that work, but what I want to end with is this:

Not a single person is perfect, and I know that. I try not to use the "p word" when describing people, because it adds pressure and stress- which that person is probably already under. 

Conquering those Classes You HATE!!

via Instagram

We all take those classes that are just... ugh.

You know what I'm talking about- those "gen ed" classes that take up so much time and energy but you just can't really find the relevance? Yeah, that's microbiology for me this semester. It was organic chemistry last semester. 

Now, organic chemistry was a little different because I understood it's importance. I just couldn't understand the material. But microbiology, oh microbiology. It's absolutely my least favorite class, but I need to pass it. I have yet to see the real significance it has in my knowledge of being a pharmacist. In fact, my professor tends to point out when information is important to specific majors (this isn't a major-specific course) and the only time he ever says "now this is important for you pharmacy majors" is when it has to do with anatomy. *annoyed face* We're taking anatomy for a reason, aren't we? I thought so. 

Anyways, rant aside, it's so hard to focus in class and really know the information because I simply don't care about it. And I want to spend time learning about the classes I "enjoy" more than this one, but I have to study more because it just doesn't penetrate the mind. talk about endless circles. I've been struggling with this a lot lately, and I've come to realize that the only way to get myself interested is to focus on those pharmacy-specific areas and relate that to everything else. 

It's not easy, but it forces me to learn the material. If we are given certain drugs that inhibit certain mechanisms, I base my studying off of that. If I'm given the mechanisms, I look up drugs that may inhibit that. I look up what sicknesses such bacteria and microbes may be associated with. 

It isn't a quick way of studying at all. I end up spending at least twice as much time studying microbiology that I do my other classes, but it seems to be working. It's also probably the least efficient way to study for the short-term, but it's got to pay off in the long-run (there's no real way to test this, but I'm just going to tell myself that it will all pay off). 

So, I know we all have those classes. I know I will continue to have those classes. The ones I hate. But I trust that my advisors wouldn't make me completely waste my time and money, and I hope you believe that, too. Otherwise I'd advise you switch schools. So this is the best I can do- make lemonade out of lemons. Find a way to apply your course and run with it

...they say application is the best way to learn, don't they? 

Study Breaks to Keep You Focused

I don't know about you, but I have a hard time focusing when it comes to studying. My attention can only be kept for so long before I just have to take a break. Luckily, it's been scientifically proven than studying for 30-50 minute sessions with breaks in between is actually better than grueling 4-hour long stints.

But, I've also found that if I check my phone or a social network my 10 minute breaks turn into 15.. then 20... then I talk myself out of going back to the books. My studying styles are constantly evolving, but I think I've mastered a few study break activities that both give me a much needed break and keep me focused on the task at hand.

1. Yoga
There are so many great yoga videos that range anywhere from 15 minutes to 45. There are times were I just need to absolutely clear my head and relax, which yoga is perfect for. What's even better is that I'm almost always studying in comfy workout clothes, so there's no excuse not to spend a few minutes going through some flow.

2. Read
Reading is so hard to fit in at school. I spend so much time staring at words all day that, even if I love a book, all I really want to do is watch something mindless at the end of the day. But for some reason while I'm studying, I'm all about taking a break to read. A lot of times I'll read an article in Vogue or a chapter of a book- something that keeps my mind engaged but is completely unrelated to what I'm currently studying.

3. Call Someone
I'm so bad about keeping in touch with people who aren't here at Purdue with me. One of the best ways to take a break is to call someone you've been meaning to talk to. Obviously, this is something that may call for an extended break. But it's so nice to be able to vent about life while hearing about what's going on outside of your little college bubble.

I know midterms are coming up for many people, so I wanted to give a few study break tips to try. These work so well for me and give me a nice little refresh during stressful days.

College + Technology

Week one of Sophomore year is done and out of the way.
And, believe me, this semester is going to be insane. It's exciting to think that about how different my life is going to be in a matter of months: PUDM 2.0, going Greek, the most challenging semester of my life, the PCAT, and Pharmacy school admissions... This semester is equivalent to junior year of high school. Actually it's not at all like junior year of high school but that's the best comparison I could make. Hah!

Anyways, being the nerd that I am (and knowing what to expect for this semester) I took some time this summer to organize my thoughts and prepare myself. This included trying out multiple apps for success in school. And- okay, disclaimer- I know there are a billion and one posts about what apps to get for school. Trust me, because I looked at many of them to figure out how I could use technology to my benefit this semester. Now trust me when I say that 9/10 of the apps recommended were obviously not recommended by college students because I couldn't think of any reason to use many of them other than to take up space on my iPad. Not kidding. So, after days of searching I was able to add two, yes only two, actually useful apps to my "school" file. But those two apps are going to make all the difference, which is why I want to share them.

 I already had the Blackboard app, which is Purdue's program for every class. It's nothing too special, but it allows me to access all assignments, powerpoints, notifications, etc for my classes while I'm on the go. This app does cost, but it's worth the money to not have to take my laptop with me to class. Just my ipad, a notebook, and some pens do the trick- talk about lightening your load! I had this app last year but didn't have the supplemental apps necessary to make it fully functional. Now that I do, everything works together seamlessly and has made learning much simpler.

One thing that I did buy as an accessory to all of this was a nice stylus- the Adonit Jot Pro. It's a more substantial stylus but still pretty inexpensive, and it makes taking notes (keep reading) on my iPad much more enjoyable.

So, now for the apps that I use daily:

Notablility
I don't remember who recommended this app to me (I truly apologize because I'd like to give credit where credit is due) but it has been life-changing. It's like carrying 5 notebooks and their corresponding powerpoint slides, all in my iPad mini. The app integrates with Blackboard so that I can download my notes directly to the app and write on the slides. It's easy to insert images or blank pages for extra pages and references.

It's really the best because I don't have to carry multiple notebooks or worry about grabbing the wrong pages. No matter the class, I have the notes. And, if I forget to download the notes I can just hop on Blackboard once I get to class and send them to the app.

The way I work this is that I take the notes in class, then come back to my room and make flow charts of my personal reading notes, to vocabulary, and the class notes in a notebook. So, I'm not completely paperless. But last year I occasionally took notes on my laptop and it was so easy to open pages on the sides or even have a side-by-side view which wasn't a good use of my time in class... at all. The smaller iPad screen makes it less tempting to have other pages pulled up.

It's also been proven that typing isn't as beneficial to learning and memory as the writing motion. So being able to physically write the notes and pictures down, then repeat it again from memory and the notes once I'm back to my room, makes sure that I'm learning in different forms- audibly and tactually.

So far, I have 0 complaints about the way this app works. I'm sure there are other, more complex apps but this one does the job and it's cheap- $2.99 has made this year so much easier already.

Quizlet
The free app for any vocabulary-intensive course. This thing is going to be great, I can already tell. I can say goodbye to stacks and stacks... and stacks of index cards. So environmentally friendly! This app is really nice because it has games that help to learn the words, and it will read the words and definitions to you- that auditory learning thing again!

This is a pretty self-explanatory app, so I'll leave it at that.


I can't stress enough how important it is to find what works for you. These apps work for me, but maybe not for someone else. It takes some trial runs to figure it all out, but Iv'e found that less is more when it comes to technology and school. Unless you're a computer science major and know how to work with different platforms, finding something that does what you need it to- nothing more and nothing less- is really the most beneficial. It makes learning more fun and less stressful, which we could all use!

Sophomore Year... What?!

via Tumblr

...School is coming! 

I've been waiting since May 10th to get back to crazy West Lafayette but now that I'm here I feel so underprepared. Having 3+ months of summer really makes procrastination easy, and all the sudden it was time to move back in and get everything ready. But man is it good to be back!

Campus decided that the first week of fall semester was the right time to feel like summer- so we've got 90's and humidity to look forward to (read: nike shorts and messy buns every day). I'm staying in a dorm again but this time it's a suite that shared a bathroom with only one other room... instead of a whole floor! The location is about 50% closer to campus and there are tunnels underneath to help winter be not as brutal.

With that being said, the dorm is old and has this huge furniture, including big closets! It's nice to have the extra space, but it also makes having living space is a challenge with so much furniture taking up the room. Needless to say, my room is a work in progress. Am I going to loft my bed? Am I going to just live without a tv? I don't know right now but I'm just happy to be finally settled... for now.

I don't have much decor up at this point since I don't know the final positions of everything. Living in a small space is always unpredictable and what seems might work on move-in day is inevitably going to be changed, so I'm expecting rearrangements in the near future. But, once I'm settled into a routine and my classes I'll certainly post more detailed pictures of my little living space for this year! 

For anyone else starting classes this week, bonne chance! 

Stress

It is 100% true that I haven't known the meaning of stress until this semester.

A friend came into my room and
found me like this....

I've never had so many consecutive months of grueling classes, planning for my future, and correcting mistakes that I've made. Don't get me wrong- I've had an awesome semester. I've met so many fantastic people and grown so much as a person. But I've definitely been under continued stress like never before... and these last weeks of school have been and will be no different.

I apologize for my lack of activity this past week- I had two huge exams, meetings, and Dance Marathon Grand Prix parties to help facilitate. From the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed, my mind was racing with tasks and lists. I assure you that I would have loved to have a moment to write down my thoughts, but I've barely had time to shower (I made time for that though) and eat this week. Chaos. It has been utter chaos.

But I somehow made it out alive... until finals week that is. Here's how I kept kinda sane:

1. Lists
I know I sound like the crazy list lady, but I made a master list Sunday night and would tweak it each day based on how much I anticipated I could get accomplished that day. It was less overwhelming to look at my list with so much crossed off. Each morning when I looked at it, I would remind myself that it was possible to get it all done after how much I had accomplished the other days.

2. Meals were Meals
A lot of times I'll meet friends for dinner and we'll end up talking about school or working on school work. This week I tried to avoid bringing up school or the upcoming exams while eating. I talked solely about life and lived Grand Prix vicariously through those who have less grueling schedules.

3. Reading
I made sure to read to relax my mind before I feel asleep. Even if it was two pages- which it often was after reading notes and books for hours - and it was midnight, I wanted to give myself that little bit of relaxation. My mind would still race as I fell asleep, but it was more for me to mentally say that I was relaxed than anything.

4. Future Promises
This worked more than anything, I think. I kept telling myself that Thursday at 10:00, my hard work will have paid off and I could be a normal Purdue student during Grand Prix. Although I came home from my exam and watched Legally Blonde instead, the idea of finally getting out and socializing got me through my to-do list.

Today and tomorrow morning I'm going to try to take it as easy as possible. My crazy schedule starts back up Sunday with all day PUDM fundraising, so I'll have to work on some homework before then. But luckily this upcoming week is "dead" week (read: profs hurry to get you as much information before the final as possible aka more stress) so a few classes are cancelled. It's crazy to think that I have less than two weeks of my freshman year left. I'll be moving home... to where I still have no summer job or volunteer opportunities completely set up.

Cue the continued stress... I guess it'll never end! 

Reflection

since today is officially the last day of classes of my first semester of college, I thought that it'd only be appropriate to reflect on these past months. Entering this semester, I was told over and over about how much fun I'd have and how much I'd learn. Everyone was 100% correct- have learned so much. Of course I've learned in my classes and from my professors, but I've also learned a lot about myself... and that's what I'm going to share. 

disclaimer: don't take these too seriously- they've got a twinge of humor attached to them

1. I am a morning person. When "morning" is when I wake up on my own and don't have an overwhelming amount of work to do that day.

2. I am definitely an introvert. But that doesn't mean that I'm shy or submissive.

3. I thought I was good at talking to adults. I'm actually not. I get nervous and talkreallyfast and avoid eye contact. All bad.

4. While I don't need Greek Life to define me, there's still a part of me that wants it to be a part of me.

5. I talk with my hands. This becomes a sort of flailing when there's a cute boy in the room and I want him to notice me.

6. While I'm definitely not more productive from 8 pm-12 am, that is when I get the most work done.

7. I hate the cold. I actually already knew this, but walking miles in it daily has increased this hatred.

see 8

8. My life can be summed up into one emoji

9. I have a soft spot for frat boys. I know they're crazy but...

10. I still hate rap music, but Miley Cyrus + Rap is so bad it's good (you know I'm right)

11. It's really easy to get on a prof's good side- go to class and actually say hi to them

12. I learn a lot more from Google and YouTube for my classes than I do from the book

13. I am an auditory learner. I now read my notes aloud to myself & if that's not creepy and nerdy I don't know what is.

14. I instantly feel alive after a brush my teeth- it's saved me a few times from falling asleep studying

15. I do not like doing laundry... or maybe I just hate walking all my dirty clothes down to the basement only to find that there are no free machines.............

16. I have this very sassy side to me that I never let be known in high school but now runs rampant here at Purdue

17. I talk in my sleep.. about chemistry. 

18. I can survive at least 36 hours on caffeine and caffeine alone

19. I can't study in the library... or any place that is too quiet. I will go crazy.

20. I actually am capable of making friends. And darn good ones, at that. 

And there you have it, 20 things I've learned this first semester. I'm sure I could go on and on and on, but I'll spare you the time on that one. Plus, I need to get studying. Finals week is this week. Eek!

"Think Like a Guy"

I've been watching Sex and the City from Season 1 lately, and one of the first episodes was about the male mind and how they think about life. Obviously, from a SatC standpoint, it was about relationships and sex- how guys can go without being attached or emotional. But this is not only apparent in relationships. Guys carry themselves with a sort of dominance and attitude that, when correctly used to their advantage, can have them toeing the line between confidence and arrogance perfectly. This attitude is what is so attractive to employers- men can get a job done without getting so attached that it causes emotional stress (for the most part). So, I've been keeping an eye out for the ways males interact through both observations and my own relationships to delve deeper into this idea of "thinking like a man."

Relationships

So, college has been fun when it comes to the guys- there are so many and they're all pretty good-looking! It's a good change from the small selection I've lived with the past 8 or so years, and going to such a big university means that there's certainly a guy that has the same interests that I, and every other girl on campus, have. This semester has been a roller coaster of emotion, but if I've learned one thing from the guys I've gotten to know, it's to not let emotion get in the way of life. If they're interested in someone, they make a move (or wait for the girl to make a move), but nothing drastic happens quickly. Especially as freshmen, they're keeping their options open and are using their free time to their advantage. 

As a girl, this is a new idea. Maybe it's just me, but I get attached quickly. I guess it's because I'm "picky" so when I find something I like- I make a point to show interest and hope that it's reciprocated. I want stability and security. Guys don't want that. Freshman Guys certainly don't want that. They're in sports, clubs, pledging, trying to manage their time and unhealthy drinking habits. And, because of this, they go with the flow. No attachment right away, and not necessarily a lot of effort to show interest. And where does that get them? Usually in a very happy, simple place where they have exactly what they want out of life- whether that be a bunch of random hookups or a steady girl. 

how do I take this as a girl? Well, I go with the flow too.  

Don't get stressed, and don't "claim" something that isn't yours.

School Work

I'm fortunate to go to a school where, for the most part, studies are prioritized above almost anything else. My peers are all extremely intelligent- usually more-so than myself. From study groups, labs, group projects, etc., I've been able to experience male vs. female working patterns a bit. What have I found? Guys seem to take more opportunities to get work done. While girls have distractions ...ahem, Pinterest, Tumblr, online shopping... guys tend to sit down, do the work, get it out of the way, and then have fun. Of course, most of the guys I work with are in my same area of study and realize the importance of time-management and prioritizing. But, most of the guys I've worked with have a "work 9-5" mentality that allows them to study and get work done. If it isn't done at their mental cutoff point, it won't get finished They're going to get their free time, be that the gym, a sporting event, or a party. 

I think that women work differently. I have a mentality that if I work hard for 45 minutes, I deserve a break. And, while this might work well for serious studying, everyday assignments and projects might not need this. Just switching up the assignment might be better than a break, and isn't as likely to get me started on a 15 min...2 hour... Pinning binge. 

what do I take from this? Get it done. Just sit down and get it done.

Stress

This is where I think guys differ most from girls- in every aspect of life. It's female nature to get emotionally involved in life, honestly. Guys? Not so much. Summing up what I've said before, they go with the flow. They take life for what it is. They work hard, take the opportunity when it arises, and are usually satisfied with the result. The confidence they have in themselves may sometimes be a man's worst enemy, but here it gives them the ability to not stress. And, while stress is sometimes good, there is a point where we've just got to let it go. 

I've been working on this mentality, as I think that stress is 100% my worst enemy when it comes to test-taking. I've been working on recognizing that there's a point where I've grasped to concepts that I can and I just need to rock that part of the exam... and pray desperately that I'm good at guessing.

guys don't get emotionally involved in life... and that's probably why they're so laid back all the time.

This is certainly not the most reliable information, as my "research" has been quite simple. But, I've been keen to observe to my best ability to understand the male mind... something I should have given up on the moment the idea popped into my head. But, hey it's been fun! I think there's a lot that I can learn about guys and how they interact with others. On the other hand, there's certainly a few tips that they could take from girls. But, I'll keep dreaming on that one! Until then, repeat after me:

I will...

go with the flow

take the opportunities I am given

avoid getting overly emotional over life events that don't really matter

Bless the Broken Road

For some reason, society seems to think that at the ripe old age of 18

 I'm supposed to know what it is that I want to do with my life. 

I know that I'm not alone in finding this ridiculous and terrifying. 

But, I have always been the one who "had it all together". I always plan. Whether it's mapping my study schedule down to the minute or take notes for every phone or in-person conversation that I have, I like to be organized and in control. I've recently realized that life doesn't quite work that way- God doesn't quite work that way. And so, not only am I struggling with not having any plan whatsoever of what the next 4-6 years of my life is going to look like, but I am completely out of my comfort zone when it comes to where life is leading me.

My family has been blessed with intelligence and good fortune. 

Lucrative careers. Great vacations. Never really wondering if we're going to have a meal when it comes to be dinner time. I'm surrounded by a supportive, loving family who expects great things from me and who fully understands what I am capable of in life. And I love the feeling of making them- all of them- proud. I like knowing that my aunts and uncles think highly of me as a role model for my younger cousins. I like that my family is willing to help me be successful. And, when it all comes down to it, I want their approval. 

..........................................................................

But then life took me on this journey. 

Lately, everything has flipped. 

My planned out, comfortable life has become me floating in space (But really, I identified with Gravity more than I should have) with no real idea if I'm going to make it out alive... Okay maybe that's a bit dramatic. But my "trail" has definitely taken a divergent path, and I've got to figure out if and how I'm supposed to follow this one or get back to where I'm comfortable. And, at first I was terrified about this possible change of direction. But, the more I think about it, the more I'm loving it.

I don't have much longer to "explore" how I want to spend my life. Once I get a degree, I'm pretty much stuck in that career for the rest of my life. Once again, that terrifying thought that I might mess up creeps into my mind. But this divergent path, this exploration, has given me the chance to check and make sure that I end up where I'm happy. Sure, there are costs and benefits to weigh. The lives I'd be living would be utterly, completely different on almost every level. I don't worry about my success or happiness, because I trust that I will be happy in whatever I chose- and happiness is the root of success. 

So I've come to embrace this time of unplanned chaos.

Because this winding, crazy, unpredictable part of my life is going to be something that I tell my kids about. It's going to be a source of advice, no matter where I end up. It's part of the story of my life. And when I have a family and kids of my own, I am confident that this wobble of mine will something that I'll thank the Good Lord for putting me through.

Because, "life begins at the end of your comfort zone"... right?

Birthday Weekend Re-Cap

This weekend has been the most fun so far!

Friday was my birthday, so my friends and I went out to a local "fall festival" type place and to dinner. We watched movies and stayed up way too late- the best! Yesterday was a home football game. We lost, but my family came up and my dog. We tailgated and hung out. 

Here's my re-cap: 

And I definitely didn't study as much as I should have.

I guess that's what Sundays are for...

I hope your weekend was as great as mine!

Home, Sweet Home

Home has taken on a new meaning.

Home is where family is. Where there is good food and someone to do your laundry. Where your dog crawls up in bed with you and you can take a shower... barefoot. In the larger sense of the word, home was so under-appreciated before I left. I thought that my city was boring and just wanted to get out. Where I moved to? Not that much better, and I don't have my cozy bed to come back to. My little city is cute! All of the sudden, the local shops and activities are much more appealing.

It's not to say that the college town I live in is boring or has nothing to offer. Any hobby is covered on campus. But outside of campus, the town is more rural... that is, if I could get off campus. While there is so much to do, there's also so much homework to get done. I struggle with a constant pull of desires that I never did when I was home. Maybe that's what makes it so different. 

Or maybe it's the fact that college is different from home in the sense that there aren't parents and you can do whatever you want, but from an activity standpoint... it's really not all that different. A combination of too little free time and the fact that Purdue is smaller than home makes being away at school, well school.

..............................................................................

In other words, not home. 

Being home for a long weekend was great! I loved being with family and catching up with friends. I loved walking around my city, shopping, and eating- it was almost like a mini vacation with the amount I ate! 

Sadly, school can't wait for me to get my fill of home. Exams and lectures are waiting for my return... 

But all the while I'll patiently be waiting my return back home.

Walk the Talk

I've always been a fan of Ted Talks and their ability to get me thinking.

But, there was something about this idea that really made an impression on me. I'm sure you've heard it: sitting is the new smoking. I run for exercise, and this phrase has been thrown around the running community the past few months. Then, I opened this month's Vogue to find an article on the exact same subject. I'd put this thought on the backburner- I run, so that erases the damage from sitting, right? 

Wrong.

The more I read, the more I understood how bad sitting is for the body. Sitting disengages the core muscles. It leads to bad posture and lack of circulation. This all began to make sense as I thought about how refreshed I feel after my walk between classes or to and from campus. I spend more time than I like to admit at my desk in my dorm- it has everything within arms reach and is my place to get stuff done. But I would notice that sitting caused my legs and back to become numb, which I ever thought of as a huge deal until I realized how important the spine and those nerves in my back are to my health! Yeah, I had a bit of a wake-up call to say the least.   standing for 6 straight hours when I worked was tiring, but not unmanageable. So I began to think of how this could be applied to my daily life at school and look for ways that standing could be incorporated into my days. 

I walk to and from campus and class, so that gets a good 2+ miles in my day just getting around. But then I go and sit in classes for 50 minutes- not that bad since I get at least 10 minutes of walking between each sitting stint. The fresh air and little bit of exercise does wonders for a burnt-out brain. But then comes the hours of studying. So I went on a hunt for good place to study. Purdue is ahead of this standing craze, because there are numerous standing-level tables in the basement of my building! Woo! Of course, there are stools. Just push them aside. 

In my experiments with this new idea, I've been trying to study at the stand-up tables as much as possible. I get some weird looks from students, but that's beside the point. I've found that standing keeps me alert and focused for longer. I'm not as reliant on that steady stream of coffee like before. Also, if I feel like I need to take a study break, my immediate thought is to walk around and get some blood flowing... instead of staying put and watching YouTube (okay maybe I just turn my laptop around and walk while I watch a video or two). My legs have been more tired, but this standing hasn't hindered my regular exercise or routine. In fact, running on tired legs has made them stronger! I'm not sure how long this standing thing will last, but it's been a fun couple of days experimenting.

Talk the Walk; Walk the Talk

Social or Not?

Since classes have started, I've struggled with this conflict of interests:

to study all the time or let it be and make friends?

Obviously there's got to be balance, but I'm having a hard time finding it. This past weekend I spent Friday night with friends just hanging out and watching movies. But, because of that I felt like I needed to stay in Saturday and study. While everyone went out, I put on my sweats, took out my contacts, and hit the books. Plus side to being a hermit? The hall is silent on Saturday nights- perfect for studying. 

You might think that this sounds balanced- one night out for one night in. But what's wrong is that whenever I'm out, all I can think about is all that needs to get done. I feel like I'm constantly going over my class materials in my head. Making sure I don't forget them and making lists of ways to study and make sure I know my stuff. It's to the point that I almost feel guilty when I'm not studying. I know there's no reason to feel guilty- one can't only sleep and go to class. But I worry that I won't be prepared for the exams and that I'll be mad about going out once it's too late. 

As you can tell, my weekends and inner thoughts are extremely conflicted right now.

Luckily, I've heard that this is the hardest semester of my major- the weeding out process that is so well known at Purdue. And with the competition to get into their Pharmacy program, I can see why they'd want those who aren't committed to change majors. But then there's all the other stuff, like clubs and organizations, that make a student well rounded. So not only am I adjusting to 17 hours of class (plus 3 hours outside of class studying for every hour in class) and the plethora of student organizations that students are urged to join. So much going on... it's almost hard to think that anybody has the energy to go out on weekends! 

Luckily, I'm able to be social between studying or at meal times. In class I get to be surrounded with 250-300 students, all of us under similar work loads. There's a sense of community and friendship in the fact that many of us do, like myself, chose to stay in on the weekends (or even during the week). So there's that- knowing I'm not alone. Also the fact that my parents are sacrificing so much to make sure I'm getting the education I want. It makes staying in and making the grades worth it. Forever.

So that brings me to the question- to be social or not?

I can't be the only one who has this problem. It's a worldwide epidemic- working long hours to "live a nice life" but never having time to live. So for myself and anyone else struggling with this, I'm telling you to balance. Take breaks throughout the day to have a lunch break with friends or go to the gym and see people. Get out, socialize. I think it'll help to focus more while I'm working. Also, being able to tell friends "I was with you guys at lunch so I need to stay in and study tonight" a better excuse/ reason that won't get you as much slack. I'm going to try to balance my studying and socializing more, while also making sure my grades aren't being sacrificed.

It is my future on the line, anyways!

Back to School: Class Organization

I guess I'll join the ranks of bloggers who help give tips on how to stay organized and study. 

I'll be the first to admit that I'm not very consistent from year-to-year when it comes to my organization and study styles... it's an ever changing system that evolves along with my changing habits and needs. Also, I recognize that everyone has to do what works for them! Trust me. I used every resource available to see how others organize for college and then I condensed the best ideas I could find into what has been a pretty organized classroom style.

You can love or hate my way of doing things, I just want to be a resource to those who may be in my same position and not know where to start.

The number one most important place to start is with an agenda. I don't care if you use one from Kate Spade, Target, or your school (Purdue always has a "mortarboard"). As the typical preppy girl that I am, I chose a Lilly Pulitzer planner... or at least for my "social planner". It's my own little label for it, and it doesn't really mean anything other than I don't put every little bit of homework in it. I use this planner for clubs and activities on campus as well as marking when I have exams and big assignments due. It helps me to get a visual picture of everything that's going on as well as any reminders that I need to make sure I look at over and over. I chose the large agenda, which is the perfect size to hold everything but also isn't a huge deal to take everywhere with me.

My assignments, on the other hand, are all logged in my MayBook. It's all cutesy with my monogram and all that, but it's my bible. I write down any reading, homework, or studying I need to do. I jot reminders to myself in it and use it simultaneously as a check-list and assignment book. It's so nice to be able to physically check assignments off and to have a visual picture of all that I need to get done for the day. So far, it's been instrumental in keeping my stress level low and my productivity high. 

When it comes to actual studying and assignments, I'm very very articulate. Please bear with me as I explain this whole process... or don't. If it doesn't seem like it'll work for you, you certainly don't need to use it. My labeling and process is a bit OCD but it works, so I have no interest in changing it.

1. My Binder and Notebooks
As you could see in the initial picture, I have a master binder. It holds all syllabi and notes that I need for class. In addition, a lot of textbooks are being created without binding, which was a bit annoying at first but now I love it! I'm able to carry around only the chapters/pages that we're focused on at the moment for easy reference at any time. I keep all of my classes in this one binder and I take it with me everywhere I go. I have a second binder for if I feel the need to separate to a MWF and TTH binder, but the single one works great as of now. I do have separate notebooks, which I use to take notes in class. I have two three-subject notebooks that I take with me on their respective days.


2. Evernote
Evernote was a bit tricky to figure out, but it's been a beautiful relationship between me and Evernote since school has begun. Here's how I use it: Any reading assignments that I have, I read and outline in this App. I use it as reference for homework assignments and any reviewing of concepts, which I do on my phone before class- It's awesome that Evernote syncs to all of my devices! In lecture, I'll take notes and relate back to my personal notes. I write down any questions and then go to the book and my notes for answers. So far, I've been able to answer all of my questions through this method. Then, I add my in-class notes and questions/answers into the Evernote notes. Wa-la! I have a complete outline and notes for any topic we've covered and they're all conveniently accessible on any device.

3. Homework

Homework is always done on legal pad paper. Since most of my homework is actually done and turned in online, any questions that arise during homework or any points that I want to make a note of, I write on the legal pad. The paper stands out in my binder and notes so that I can easily find any questions once I'm with my professor. The questions and notes here and notes taken after I've read and outlined, so these are usually more specific questions or more specific questions that weren't really "outline" material. These questions are usually the most important, because they require abstract thoughts and material application that is instrumental in mastery. Having it on bright paper also makes my brain take special note of what I'm writing there and it works to subconsciously work out the questions (I know it sounds crazy, but no kidding! It's scientifically proven. And just earlier this week I wrote down a question during the day and as I was laying down to go to sleep I had a major "ah ha!" moment as the answer became apparent- my brain had been working on the answer all day as I was going on with my business!)

4. Attending Class
Organization and serious studying can only get you so far. Your professors and teachers are paid the big bucks for a reason- they know what they're talking about! They're passionate about their topic of study, and whether you agree with their thoughts or not, they can be a huge source of inspiration and support. Showing up to class can be hard when you don't have the threat of a call home. 7:30 classes are rough- luckily I only have one this semester- but getting up and getting going will show commitment on your part. Even in lectures of 250- 300 people, the professors will know if you're there or not. Maybe not right that day, but when your homework grades start to drop and your exam scores bottom out... they'll know. Show that you appreciate their dedication and preparation by showing up. If the lecture content really that bad, you can get on FaceBook or something (although I'm not recommending that by any means!).

Back to School gets me just as excited as the next person.

I love buying pens and notebooks and all that fun stuff. But, school is just as much work as it is fun. Keep on top of everything and stay organized, and you'll have more time for the fun stuff! 

Turning of a Page

Reading Syllabi. Making To-Do lists. Reading pages and pages...  and pages of textbooks.

It is officially time to start school again. Today marks my first day of college classes and a new chapter of my life. If I said I was anything other than excited and nervous, I'd be lying. I'd also be lying if I said I wasn't already overwhelmed. 

I have so many goals and expectations for this year. Of course, I'm a student first and I want to finish this semester with an awesome GPA. But I want more than a number to describe me on campus- I want to get involved and meet students who are passionate about the same things that I am. College is such a big world and a small pond at the same time... and I'm just trying to find my niche.

There are clubs affiliated with my major, which I plan to get involved with. Pharmacy is not, in any world, and easy major. I need all the support and help I can get. Enter, Pharmacy clubs. Nerdy? Yes. But Purdue is basically a school of nerds so it's actually completely normal here... Unfortunately, so are the Pokemon clubs. Yes, Pokemon.

Socially, of course a sorority is my top choice. Recruitment begins this week and will be a huge, time-consuming part of my next couple of weeks. Basically, I need to keep the coffee coming because I will be getting no sleep. All through high school, I was involved with the Riley Dance Marathons, which have become the Children's Hospital's largest donor (Yay DM!!!). Purdue has set the bar high- $1 Million to Riley this year, and I want to be a part of this awesome fundraiser! Besides Panhellenic Affiliations, I want to get into the Riley Dance Marathon and hopefully get placed in some leadership roles in the future.

College is a time for trying new things, right? Well I've never been really involved in sports. I love college football and basketball, tailgates, dressing up- I live for all that! But I might try something a little bit more out of my comfort zone and by a bit I mean completely 100% out there! I was invited by the coach of Purdue's rowing team to come check it out. I was a little skeptical at first, but College Prepster did it, so I can too... right? Sure. I'll see what it's all about... So here's to the new me! 

I have been so excited for college since about... freshman year of high school (okay maybe not but you get it). Now that it's finally here, I'm going to sacrifice sleep to see what it's all about! 

I'm ready for the ride of my life! 

I'm Alive!

I understand that I've been away long enough to safely be categorized as "MIA", and I apologize for that! This week has been so busy and tiring- I moved into my dorm and participated in a week of freshman orientation. I've been surviving on less than five hours of sleep and immense amounts of walking (14+ miles one day!).

It's been absolutely crazy! But I'm happy to say that I'm settled in and classes begin on Monday. I am ready to begin my adventure as a college freshman and I hope that you're excited to experience it with me!

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From my new abode, PurduePrep is here!

See [Sarah] Work

My love of office supplies is a little obsessive... 

and weird. I don't know why I love it so much. I just do. As I've been school shopping, I find it easiest to look online at different office supply stores to find where I can get the best deals (I feel like my mom already). As I was looking, I found this adorable website where I just want to buy everything.

See Jane Work is an awesome online office supply store. 

I'm probably behind the curve here and everyone but me has known about this shop for forever. You can shop by office design or by category, and everything is so stinking cute! I think of it as the girly Office Depot. More than anything, I find looking through this site a huge form of inspiration when it comes to organization and desk shopping. 

In my mind, a fun, organized desk is a happy desk

Sacrifices and Scapegoats

The last thing I expected to get from a Gossip Girl episode was deep thoughts about life and relationships. It's the episode where Dan reveals to everyone that the book he wrote was not only by him, but about them. The reactions depicted in the show were very real and I'm sure that I'd react similarly to that kind of news. The thing is, he used his creative license to take reality and change it. Dan wrote about the world he lived in, but he emphasized the bad. 

He took a very realistic view of the Upper East Side world.

Obviously, he wrote as he needed to and he took a hit from the exaggerations in his writing. His friends felt betrayed and his father felt as if he were a waste. Blair's engagement was almost ruined and Nate took offense to the fact that he didn't even get a full character in the book. On the surface, this whole episode is full of tense moments and irony. Taking a deeper look, though, I think we can all learn from Dan's experience.

The thing is, there are going to be times in our lives where we're going to have to act as a scapegoat. We are going to have to put ourselves out there to be slaughtered in order to advance who we are. Whether artistically or academically, these moments will show us who are true friends are. They're the ones who will understand that their embarrassment or failure (for lack of better words) in the eyes of someone else is what allows for others to progress. This fact is deep and terrifying, but oh so true.

Just think, even Jesus acted as a scapegoat. He had to be shamed and embarrassed for the continuation of mankind. His sacrifice led to bigger things in the scheme of the world. In the case of Gossip Girl, the superficial Upper East Siders had to be sacrificed for Dan. In the big picture, who they are portrayed as in an artistic book that only a select audience will read, it doesn't really matter. And, that's something I'll have to remember when I'm put in either position: the scapegoat or the killer.

Growing up and advancing in a career or school is something that any person striving for success will have to do. To be on top, someone's got to be taken down. I'm not saying that I'll take personal attacks on people like Dan did, but there will be advances made. American society thrives off of competition and there's no way around it. So, when you are in this situation just remember to think it through. Is the tearing down of one person going to matter in the big scheme of life? Can this be a commensalistic relationship, where one person benefits and the other really doesn't suffer much at all?

I can't tell you how I'll react.

But I pray that it is with grace and poise.

Top 5: April 2013

I cannot believe that April has come and gone! I'm entering the final days of high school and life as I know it. The sun is shining daily and my porch has become my go-to hangout. I am in no way complaining, but it just feels as if life is passing by so so quickly! 

As per usual, I am going to look back on my top 5 favorites of this month!

Lilly Pulitzer

Dresses!

As a kid, I was never a huge fan of dresses. I think it was because I was more the type to run around with the boys than to look cute for them. This year, though, I've been looking for any excuse to wear a dress! The warm weather is perfect for cute sundresses and they show off my runner's legs! Plus, they're oh so comfortable and flattering! I'm kicking myself for not liking them before and have been buying up so many dresses lately. Now, I'm just looking for places to wear them.

Natural Hair

So I have this awkward hair that's straight with a teeny-tiny bit of wave. And there's only some wave if I put product in and DON'T comb it. But, it'll dry basically straight with a comb through. I've pretty much hated this about my hair, because it never looked super put together. Lately, though, I've been embracing the natural wave of it. I hardly use my flat iron and I let it air dry, which has resulted in my hair being so much smoother and healthier. 

Senior Prom

Family!

My family is a close family, but it's never been like this before. I think I'm just enjoying my last few months at home with my mom and dad before I'm on my own... eek! But seriously, I give up everything to be with them. I make an effort to have dinner with them a majority of the nights each week and to tell them daily that I love them. They're the most supportive, loving, selfless people I know and would give me the world if they could have given me the world. If I want it, they do their best to make sure I have it even if I have to wait. If I need help, they do their best to help me or find someone who can. My sister and I are their top priorities and I pray that I can one day be as wonderful to my children. 

North Carolina

Kinda weird, I know, but I've been planning and thinking ahead for my future. While I have two years of undergrad at Purdue, I will be applying to pharmacy schools in a couple of short years. Purdue does have a fantastic pharmacy program that I will apply to, but I have always been a fan of the south and the east coast; I've always wanted to leave the midwest. University of North Carolina dawned on me as the perfect school! It's ranked in the top of the country, is very well known, has 4 seasons that aren't as extreme as the midwest, and embraces the best of the east coast and south. I've only been to the beach in N.C., so a visit to Chapel Hill is in store!

LEM

It's been a while since I talked about my best friend. She's a favorite every month, but deserves a spot this month. We went to the beach together and it was fantastic! On top of that, she and I have become so incredibly close and she gets me through just about anything. She's really sick, so prayers to LEM! And, her birthday is Thursday... and the only thing I like better than online shopping is online shopping for someone else! I can't wait for her presents... (some Tory Burch and Marley Lilly, maybe?)! I just can't imagine what I'd be without my best friend. 

Another month has come and passed with all sorts of new experiences and memories. April has been an enjoyable month, but I'm ready for May and summer!