[Non] Greek Women

going into college, I was looking forward to philanthropic and sisterhood aspects of greek life

Then life took me for a turn (little did I know it was the first of many). I went through the intense recruitment process of no sleep, lots of talking, and uncomfortable shoes. I talked about myself, my interests, and what I wanted out of this "sisterhood". But, when it came down to it, I just didn't feel a connection to any particular house or group of girls. Looking back, I think that I knew I wanted to drop early into the second round, but I just couldn't. So I stuck it out until the end.

It seemed like I'd heard so much about how so many of Fortune 500's top CEOs were greek. Or how most of the powerful women in America were greek. I was scared that I wouldn't be successful if I dropped. I worried that I'd lose jobs over not being greek. And, on a more short-term scale, I was terrified that I'd never find my niche here at Purdue if I didn't join a sorority. 

But none of that matters if I don't have time to get my work done because of functions or if I really feel like I don't belong with these girls who are supposed to be my "sisters"

so I dropped...

..................................................................................

I made jokes with one of my friends about how I was a "social reject" and I enjoyed the fact that I didn't have to endure any more 12+ hour days of talking about myself. But inside I honestly felt a little bit lost. As anyone does when their path is stripped from their feet, I needed a chance to figure out where college was going to take me from there. So I did what any bibliophile does, and I picked up a book about the one and only Kate Middleton- she didn't go greek and now she's a princess. Surely it can't be that bad! 

After this realization, I began to make a mental list of successful people- or people who I look up to- that didn't go greek:

Anna Wintour

Hermione Granger

Angela Ahrendts

and there are many more

Of course, I respect all of the girls who found their place and whole-heartedly threw themselves into the sorority world. Having so many good girlfriends to live with and experience life with is something that I sometimes envy. Looking back, I'm glad that I went through recruitment but I'm also happy with my decision to drop. I know that I would have been overwhelmed with school and functions. Plus, here in the Big 10 greek life isn't as...respectable as I'd like to think. I want to be defined by my successes and personality, not some letters. Being a part of a sorority might have given me leadership experience or chances to work with other people and philanthropies, but it's certainly not the only way. 

Plus, throwing yourself into what you're passionate about is going to provide more success than a predetermined path that everyone else has followed. This semester has been such a learning and reflecting time for me, and the lack of direction is driving me crazy. But someday, hopefully I'll get back on track- 

even if I'm paving my own path.

Sacrifices and Scapegoats

The last thing I expected to get from a Gossip Girl episode was deep thoughts about life and relationships. It's the episode where Dan reveals to everyone that the book he wrote was not only by him, but about them. The reactions depicted in the show were very real and I'm sure that I'd react similarly to that kind of news. The thing is, he used his creative license to take reality and change it. Dan wrote about the world he lived in, but he emphasized the bad. 

He took a very realistic view of the Upper East Side world.

Obviously, he wrote as he needed to and he took a hit from the exaggerations in his writing. His friends felt betrayed and his father felt as if he were a waste. Blair's engagement was almost ruined and Nate took offense to the fact that he didn't even get a full character in the book. On the surface, this whole episode is full of tense moments and irony. Taking a deeper look, though, I think we can all learn from Dan's experience.

The thing is, there are going to be times in our lives where we're going to have to act as a scapegoat. We are going to have to put ourselves out there to be slaughtered in order to advance who we are. Whether artistically or academically, these moments will show us who are true friends are. They're the ones who will understand that their embarrassment or failure (for lack of better words) in the eyes of someone else is what allows for others to progress. This fact is deep and terrifying, but oh so true.

Just think, even Jesus acted as a scapegoat. He had to be shamed and embarrassed for the continuation of mankind. His sacrifice led to bigger things in the scheme of the world. In the case of Gossip Girl, the superficial Upper East Siders had to be sacrificed for Dan. In the big picture, who they are portrayed as in an artistic book that only a select audience will read, it doesn't really matter. And, that's something I'll have to remember when I'm put in either position: the scapegoat or the killer.

Growing up and advancing in a career or school is something that any person striving for success will have to do. To be on top, someone's got to be taken down. I'm not saying that I'll take personal attacks on people like Dan did, but there will be advances made. American society thrives off of competition and there's no way around it. So, when you are in this situation just remember to think it through. Is the tearing down of one person going to matter in the big scheme of life? Can this be a commensalistic relationship, where one person benefits and the other really doesn't suffer much at all?

I can't tell you how I'll react.

But I pray that it is with grace and poise.