Inspiration Sunday

I came across this video on Facebook and it gave me this wonderful, warm feeling after watching it. 

In this world of keeping up with the Joneses and worrying so much about how others view us, it becomes extremely simple for women to lose sight of the beauty that they possess. Living on a college campus, I see a pretty good representation of all the different self-image struggles that girls can be faced with. From playing dumb to showing a little tooooo much body for the weather, to getting drunk and allowing guys to take advantage of them, it's evident that confidence and self-worth is a lost commodity in this world. 

and I'll be the first to say that I'm not immune to this, either

I have days where nothing looks right. Or days I feel guilty for eating. I have days where I put up this incredible wall, because who wants to get inside my head, anyways? Just like every other girl on this planet, I need a reminder that my life is not being catered to someone else's liking. I am free to be who I want- to enjoy what I want, and to love myself. We have all been placed on this earth with a divine reason. Whatever it may be, it is not dictated by our clothes, or our grades. The pimple on my face is not a deciding factor in whether or not I am loved, or special, or awesome. 

So, I strongly recommend you take a moment to watch this short, 3 minute video and remember that you are great;

You are loved. 

Dream Big? ... Or Realistically?

Is a mid-life crisis at 18 a real thing?

If so, I think I'm experiencing it. 

If you follow my Twitter, you probably had a feeling something like this would come up eventually. (and, if you don't follow my Twitter, what are you doing? @PurduePrep ) I've mentioned feeling lost, overwhelmed, and even changing my major. I know, I know. This is normal for students to re-think things about this time. Everyone changes their major. But that's not who I am. I'm known as the put-together one. The girl who has everything planned out and has a brilliant future set up.

But then good ole reality hit me. In the face.

I was sitting in biology lecture one day during London Fashion Week and spent more of that lecture following the events than my professor. Okay, so that might be normal for a teenage girl. But I was taking notes. Notes for a post. For this blog. I then realized that I write thoughts and ideas for the blog all over my class notes. I wake up early to watch the Today show and read the news. I don't go out of my way to work on things for Pharmacy. I don't get thrilled at the idea of job exploration or making connections or going to Pharmacy events. And that was the moment that my whole world flipped. 

Is Pharmacy really for me? I have a lot riding on this education. I'm the pride of my parents and family. Everyone is so proud and is on my side. They believe in my success and my goals... in Pharmacy. But I'm not sure it'll be that way if my major changes... majorly. This education offers me job security and benefits, I'm good at it, and it's certainly worth my parents' money. It's a realistic, boring profession that I fit into. But I don't feel that it fits for me. Of course, me being me, I've been researching and planning for my possible intended major. There's no way I would change if there was a chance that I wasn't sure- and I'm still not sure. But here's what I'm thinking

1. Job Market and Benefits vs.
fun, exciting, and risky
Pharmacy is obviously a very competitive, lucrative career path. It comes with a job market, benefits, and a growing number of responsibilities. In the 8 weeks I've been here, I've found it to be extremely time consuming and hard! All I do is study! And it's not that I have a problem with studying, but the subject matter isn't exactly my favorite thing. I'm very much the calm, collected person. But, for once, I want to do something fun! Taking risks and enjoying life is what we are on this Earth for. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be happy in Pharmacy, but I think that taking a risk for something that I find more engaging would be a greater fulfillment.

2. Do what I love or what I'm good at?
There's no doubt in my mind that I'm good at the subject matter required for Pharmacy. For some reason, chemistry and biology just clicks. But it isn't what I love. At first, I was embarrassed about having a blog, loving to write, and being interested in fashion. I used to hide my fashion magazines and only write posts in my room alone. I thought I was horrible at writing- in fact, I still think I am. I spend so much time pre-writing and planning for each post but I still think that they come out worse than expected. I feel as if I've improved, but I'm nowhere close to where I'd like to be. Regardless of that, I brought my blog into the light. I showed LEM and some girlfriends, and they've given me so many positive words of encouragement that I love. The consistent comment I've gotten is that I really seem passionate about the blog and the subjects I write about- which is 100% true! While I know I have room for improvement, writing and "reporting" is something that I love. So I give that up for something I'm good at?

3. Money
It's all about the money. As much as I try not to be an extreme materialist, our world is very much a materialistic one. Money and income is important, as is making sure that purchases are valuable. I'm blessed enough to have a family who loves and supports me in my higher education and is willing to pay for it. That being said, I don't want to disappoint them after they give me so much. I don't want them to think that I'm wasting this fantastic gift or taking advantage of them. The more I think about it, the more I think about how much importance I put on pleasing them and making them proud. But, doing what they think I want to just turn around and wish I didn't have to do it is worse than confronting the problem now.

I may seem vague and unorganized at this point, but that's because I am. In every aspect of my life I feel like a mess- something completely foreign to me. It all comes down to these three subjects and some conversations with my parents and advisors. I really don't know where I'll be in a year or even in a month. But, whatever life brings me, I want to be prepared and informed. Who knows what I'll pick, but just for the record...

I'm leaning towards my dream.

Net(Working) Girl

I've officially grown up: I just made a LinkedIn profile

I knew that I'd be making a profile sooner or later, with job fairs and connections becoming a huge part of these next years at school. I didn't think I'd be making one this early on, though; a sequence of events pushed me to just go for it! I don't quite have it all figured out yet, but I'm excited to network with companies and people that I meet. 

And who knows the connections I'll make? One girl, who is also a freshman at Purdue, shared a story of meeting two Disney Imagineers who offered her a job/ internship next summer based on her maturity. They connected on LinkedIn and now she already has a job set up before her first college class. LinkedIn is really the largest form of networking and is so beneficial in the world of work as well as college.

So, now that I feel like an old, working woman, I'm also excited for this growing up!

Here's to college, life on my own, learning, loving, and experiencing everything I possibly can..

connect with me!

Burberry Kisses

I'm always one to find the most inspiration in the most random things. 

I'm on Burberry's mailing list, so this came to my e-mail. When it did I found it so charming! How cute of an idea to send your actual lip-print (?) to your loved one! Technology allows us to be so connected without even needing any physical interaction- I find this to be wonderful and terrifying at the same time. Regardless, this short video was so cute. It reminded me just how important it is to keep in touch and to show others you love them... no matter the distance of time difference.

I'll be taking advantage of this adorable feature!

Guilty Pleasure: Nicholas Sparks

I'm a reader. 

If that wasn't obvious then I don't know what is.

And I love literature that covers great social and psychological questions. I love a book where you can tell that the author really worked to make the novel a thinker. I don't just read mindless novels. I like symbolism and the confrontation of questions that humans have wondered throughout time.

For example, my favorite authors are Fitzgerald and Hemingway, and I absolutely love the beginner of the women's movement: Jane Austen. But, sometimes I just want a fairy tale. I want mindless reading that fulfills fantasy and hope. That's when I look to Nicholas Sparks. 

The Longest Ride comes out in August

Yes, I know most of his books have similar basic plots and are predictable. I know that they aren't deep and don't really make the reader think or engage them in any pondering of human nature. But, for a beach read, Nicholas Sparks is perfect. For a mindless read, he's perfect. For when you just want to fall in love, pick up one of his books.

Nicholas Sparks novels are 100% a guilty pleasure of mine. I don't really like to admit that I read the books and I often criticize people if his books are the only ones they read. I mean, it's not real literature. He writes for money and movie deals, but sometimes you just need to live vicariously through someone else's love stories. Since his book are usually based in the South, they're especially good for the beach or any fantasy of being south and falling in love.

Yes, I'm ashamed of my love, but I'll keep on reading because I'm a hopeless romantic

A Pat on the Back

I struggle with something that I think most girls struggle with, which is I am way too critical of myself! My personality and absolute need to always be prepared and on time doesn't help, but I definitely find myself constantly feeling disappointed by certain outcomes. And, sometimes, they're even out of my control!

In my recent stint of self-love, I've thought of a few things that I love about myself or that I just absolutely love. Often times, these things are what I get most mad at myself about, but I should really learn to work with it. These "weaknesses" could easily become great strengths!

Firstly, I have the biggest sweet tooth and almost no will power! For someone who is pretty health-conscious, this part of who I am can be really frustrating! I know that, if I didn't eat that candy or cookie or cheesecake, I'd probably progress a lot faster in my diet goals. Being lighter will be easier on my joints, etc. But, you know what? I only have one life. If I want a cookie, I should eat it. In moderation, sweets aren't bad. For guys, it's super easy to get to my heart: always order dessert after dinner. Whenever a friend is breaking down and needs chocolate, I've always got some to share! I've gotten a lot better about moderation and control, but I've also gotten better at not being so hard on myself for indulging... daily. :o

I've never seen myself as graceful or "wonderful". On movies or tv shows, or even at school, there are always those girls who just posses this grace and inner strength. I am completely and utterly the opposite of these girls, and am the awkward one who always seems to have a hair out of place or a shoelace untied. I get so caught up in these girls, but they're so untouchable! They aren't approachable, and their friends aren't really their friends. I, on the other hand, have wonderful, caring friends! I have lots of guy friends and enjoy putting a smile on peoples's faces with my clumsiness. While I may not be full of grace and charm, I'm full of something... Not sure what, but I'll work with it!

Lastly, I've always been one to keep to myself. Whether it's my emotions or thoughts, I'm not very good at expressing them and I like my alone time. My mom always says that, when I was a kid, I'd be content with some crayons and a coloring book for hours! Sometimes I feel kinda dorky at how I like to be in bed early to read or always leave parties early to go to dinner with my family, but then I look at how in touch with my family I am and how much I've learned from reading books and being by myself. I am very independent and very much an individual. While it may seem lame now, my ability to work and grow alone will be a beneficial selling point when it comes to work.

I often feel like society is very much a "me, me, me" society, but looks down on the achievements of others. Those who like who they are a little too much are often looked at as stuck up. It's hard to balance humility with pride and not end up looking like a jerk. I've been searching for this balance as a way to love who I am and who God has made me to be. It's still a work in progress, and I expect it will continue to be. But, I do know one thing:

It starts with loving your little quirks. 

Put a Ring on It

So, probably not normal but I like to find symbolism in everyday items. 

I wonder what someone's books choice may symbolize about who they are. Or if their mood correlates to a color they frequently wear... little bit of Freudian analysis going on in my daily life. 

One symbol that I absolutely love is the ring finger. 

Sort of really weird, I know. But I love it and all that it stands for!

My initial love for the finger was when I learned why it is used as the finger for the wedding ring, which is because the ring finger is the only finger that has a vein that connects it to the heart. That little bit of knowledge has spurred this liking (read obsession) for this tiny little finger that really doesn't mean a lot to people. In fact, I love this so much that I got a small tattoo on the palm side of my ring finger, to remind me of this finger-heart connection.

I'm not married and don't plan to be for a long while, but the connection still means so much. Symbolically, I see it as a finger of passion. A finger that connects the passions and aptitudes in your heart to a body that can do things and fulfill dreams. When I see that tattoo, I remember what it is that I love doing and where I want to be in the future; what I do each and every day can bring me joy as long as I am reaching the life that I love and am doing what I'm passionate about.

For the future, the ring finger is the weakest of the fingers. It is dependent on the strength of other fingers to move and doesn't have it's own tendons. It cannot act alone. I see this as a symbol for youth into marriage. When we are young, we are dependent on our family. We need help and we get it! But, when that ring is placed there, while the individual finger gets no stronger, there is something there. There is a ring/ person there who has vowed to love and cherish you and your life. 

Why do I love silly things like this so much? I don't know. 

What I do know is that this finger, while weak and dependent, is beautiful and we couldn't function without it. It has a purpose. If looked at the right way, even the most "useless" or dysfunctional aspects can be so wonderful. My Freudian way of viewing the world and its symbols may not be the best way to go about life.... but hey! I'm happy and find joy in the little things.

Even if it is just a finger.

Beautiful

As a female, it's no secret that we struggle with body image and expectations that society puts on us. These high expectations have diminished the elf confidence of women all over the world. We aren't tall enough, skinny enough, or "pretty" enough. 

I struggle with this. Without a doubt. When I'm getting ready. When I'm around all of my friends and their cute relationships. When I want an ice cream cone but eat yogurt instead. 

It's so hard to be happy and motivated when you're always concerned with your self image and how others are perceiving you. What I've come to realize is that others' perceptions of me are so far from my perception of myself. The past few years, I've spent every chance I've been given with a friendship or relationship pushing that person away. I think to myself that they don't really want to be around me. Or they don't really want to talk to me. I'm an annoyance. 

This warped self image of myself has ruined chances for fantastic friendships... only recently have I been able to gain my self confidence and open up to people. And guess what? It's not that bad! :) I love all of the great friends I've made and the experiences I've had with them. I want nothing else than to continue these habits in college and beyond, because I've truly come to love who I am.

Watch this video. You'll walk away loving who you are.

My cousin posted this video on her Facebook and I cried. I seriously cried. Because it's so true! We are so critical of ourselves- our most beautiful and unique features are the ones that we critique the most. I don't know how I would describe myself, but I hope and pray that I would describe myself to who I really am versus the "ugly" features. And, I wonder what someone else would say when they described me. 

Getting Outside of Myself

Last night was one of the most anticipated nights of my entire senior year! The Riley Dance Marathon was last night and it was an overwhelming success. We'd been planning since August, and our hard work paid off.... literally! We raised over $23,000 which put our total raised over $100,000! It was so much fun for all that were involved, and it was awesome to spend my night raising money and support for young kids. Those kids are stronger than I will ever be.

This picture was taken at the end of the night, when we revealed our earnings! Unfortunately, I left extremely sick and didn't get to see this in person. But I'm still so so happy for the results and am so fortunate to have been involved in such an incredible journey.

It feels so good to do good for others! 

Lilly Pulitzer Spring 2013

It's not surprise that I'm a little obsessed with all things Lilly Pulitzer. If I could live in sunny Florida and wear Lilly every day of my life, I would. As that isn't possible, I find myself lusting daily over the warm, springy prints and blog. My favorite print right now is Lucky Charms, which I might be going a little bit overboard on. Seriously, I want a Lucky Charms dress, coffee mug, iPhone case...basically everything. I find it to be incredibly cute and fun; it screams beach and sun to me.

As far as the new Lilly prints, I'm loving Chomp Chomp and am going to be purchasing the shorts in the Chomp Chomp print in the very near future. I just love the little alligators and I'm really liking green for this Spring season. Honestly, I don't think there's really a print that I don't like...just some that I could see looking better on me than others. But really, can't you go wrong with Lilly P.?

I think it's a fact: Lilly Pulitzer can do no wrong.

L.O.V.E.

I know, I know, I'm a day late on posting about my Valentine's day. I like this better, though. I can look back on the wonderful day that I had, even though I didn't have a true valentine. Honestly, it was one of the greatest V-day's I've had and I was able to focus on loving others rather than wallowing in being lonely (as I have in the past).

I'll start with my wonderful friends! I received far more Valentines from friends than I expected. I got a few Reese's Hearts (my absolute favorite!), which I snacked on during class. Yumm! I also got some homemade goodies, including the always wonderful pretzel/chocolate/m&m treats. They were absolutely adorable and I was humbled by the love that I was shown by friends that I've only recently met. I had one of the most pleasant days of my senior year yesterday!

Being single and loving my family, of course I celebrated my Valentine's Day by going out to dinner with them. We went to one of our favorite local Thai restaurants, expecting that maybe the crowd wouldn't be as bad... we were wrong. So wrong. They obviously weren't expecting the crowd either, as we waited for over an hour before we ended up just taking our food home. We had already planned to drop by the Cheesecake Factory for dessert, so we just took our whole meal home. It was almost better that way. We were able to put on our pajamas, sit by the fireplace, and watch all of the Valentine's Day episodes of our shows. We exchanged gifts and chocolate, ate way too much, laughed, cried, and loved.

My favorite part of the night though, was leaving the restaurant. Not because I didn't want to be there, but because of the love we were able to show our waiter. In the hour and a half that we spent at our table, we only received drinks and two appetizers... not stellar. But, like I said earlier, it was crazy busy there! We could tell that the owner and workers were stressed and felt so bad about the not-so-stellar service. While many people would be apt to give a not-so-stellar tip, we chose to give a generous tip and leave a note for our waiter. It simply thanked him for working and that we realized how rough of a night it had to have been. When we left the restaurant, we were able to look back at our waiter as he read the note and a smile grew on his face. That was the most enjoyable moment of my night.

Being a girl, it's hard to focus on loving when you want so badly to be loved and to receive flowers and chocolate. This Valentine's Day helped me realize that, while being loved is important, loving is just as fulfilling. I loved my day of being loved and giving love so much that I've resolved to make a habit out of loving others.

It's never too late for a new New Year's Resolution...is it?