Jung Typology: INTJ

I can't tell you how often I've been relying on this simple test these past few months...

My first encounter with the Jung Typology/ Meyers Briggs test was freshman year of high school. Then, I took the test to get my grade in the class and didn't give it a second thought (I'm not kidding- I couldn't tell you what my 4-letter type was then). My next experience was with a career evaluation, where I scored an ISTJ and was matched with Pharmacy... woo! I've taken it twice since then- once a year these past two years- and have scored either an INTJ or ISTJ. But, most recently I was given the "N" in that fluctuating third category.

What does this mean? Well, I've found that it can really mean whatever you make it. Just like a relationship or a volunteer job or a paper, you get out what you put in. And, while I've relied heavily on this test- it did determine my career path- I don't think that it has to determine how a person interacts or behaves in a given setting. Sure, these types of things are important when learning how to work and cooperate with others, especially when the different types can cause interactions to vary so greatly. And that is a fantastic bit of knowledge to have.

On looking into this personality typing, I was able to understand what makes me, me.

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I always wondered why I didn't have as many friends or why I spent many nights at home with a friend or two. Why didn't I stress the little stuff like so many of my friends? And why do I care so much about my future- more so than anyone else that I know? Well, look no further than the test! It explained why I was so different- and, fun fact, INTJ is the rarest type! Not only was it an explanation, but I've recently been able to apply it to my life and understand how to work with others and make myself seem, well, less lame. 

I've embraced who I've been made to be- my introversion is great for studying! My focus on the big picture is such a stress relief when it comes to exams, and the fact that I like to plan and be in-control has saved me this semester when it comes to time-management and organization. But I learned that I need to be more proactive in meeting people. I need to put myself out there, be vulnerable, and be willing to be out of my comfort zone so that others might stay in theirs. 

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I may have the most socially awkward personality type, but I'm also the rarest! 

so that means I'm special, right? ;)

But, looking into this, I also came to the realization that this personality type does not have to define me. Yes, it's true that I value my time alone and I am an absolute freak when it comes to having a schedule. But I have times where I just can't not go out. There are times where I worry about every single little detail (ahem.. when I'm getting dressed), and sometimes I forget the logic and do something crazy! And even though that makes me seriously uncomfortable, I've grown so much from putting myself out there. 

And even though my career has been decided based on this test, that doesn't mean that what I do with it necessarily has to be. Because, in the end, we determine how the world sees us-

whether that's where we're most comfortable, 

or most uncomfortable 

Recap

It's remarkable to me that I graduated one week ago today! 

This week has been so great. It's been spent with friends and family.. and my coworkers. If my summer continues like this, it's going to be a great one! But, I'm also getting excited for my future! Internships both close to home and far away, possibly an out-of-state education, and so much more has me so excited for these next 6 years of my life! I've grown up so fortunate and I hope that I'll continue to be as blessed in the future.

But, enough of this talk of the future! I'm ready to live in the here and now. The summer sun is shining,

and that's where you'll find me! 

Confrontation

I had no idea what to write until the perfect opportunity presented itself: 

I came home from a long day and the first thing my dad does is force all of his frustrations on me. This confrontation scared me, made me feel guilty, and left me wanting nothing else than a dark room and music. So, that's exactly where I went. I went up to my room and got comfy. Then I realized that I always run for the hills when anyone confronts me or I ever have to confront something myself.

This can be anything from an unfaithful friend to talking to my counselor about a bad grade. I want everything to be peachy- even when things aren't, I try to pretend as if they are (that avoidance thing again). I hate confronting problems or people. It makes me shaky and bright red! And, though I'm not an emotional person, the tears start to flow at the simplest thing.

I don't know what it is that causes me to be so... paralyzed. Even when I'm congratulating someone or someone comes up to me with a compliment, I lose it! We all have this image in our heads of how the world is and what we are to the world. I'm very much a romanticist when it comes to the bad of life; I'm a realist when it comes to the good. This makes my view of the world just like everyone else's view: very, very skewed. 

When someone, or myself, brings up an alternate view, I start to freak out! I feel very small and insignificant, and like I was very wrong. I don't lack self confidence, I just lack a proper view of who I am to some people. Because of this, I'm left with a terrible fear of confrontation and coming off as different than I expect to. 

This whole problem is something that I need to, well, confront and conquer. My whole life I'm going to be missing my goals and the goals of others as well as exceeding said goals. There are going to be confrontations (hopefully without raised voices) and there are going to be things at stake. There's not always going to be a bedroom and headphones or a book to escape to. And, honestly, talking through the confrontation is probably better... especially since that way I can come out right instead of a coward :)

I've done a lot of finding who I am lately, which I love!

"Why?"

I am and always have been a huge fan of TED Talks and the inspiration/ knowledge that I get from the leaders featured in the talks. Recently, this video was brought to my attention in church- of all places! I loved the application there, so I went home and watched the video fro myself. I've found this Talk to be one of the most useful one I've seen. In in, Simon Sinek talks about the "why" or major companies and how a vision can make one more successful than the other (think Apple vs. Microsoft).

What I took away most from the Talk, though, was about how this is applicable to my life. Being young and having many resumes and interviews ahead of me, I need to focus on what my "why" is. Who am I and WHY do I want whatever it is that I want? A job? An internship? Why am I interviewing, how will I make this opportunity benefit myself and others, and what will I be doing (in that order)? Why am I living my life like this? Knowing my "why" will ultimately be the key to what I end up doing in life. Having a job that satisfies my "why" will bring me happiness and devotion to whatever it is that I end up doing with my life.

This will be quite a task, but it will be infinitely worth it!