Stress

It is 100% true that I haven't known the meaning of stress until this semester.

A friend came into my room and
found me like this....

I've never had so many consecutive months of grueling classes, planning for my future, and correcting mistakes that I've made. Don't get me wrong- I've had an awesome semester. I've met so many fantastic people and grown so much as a person. But I've definitely been under continued stress like never before... and these last weeks of school have been and will be no different.

I apologize for my lack of activity this past week- I had two huge exams, meetings, and Dance Marathon Grand Prix parties to help facilitate. From the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed, my mind was racing with tasks and lists. I assure you that I would have loved to have a moment to write down my thoughts, but I've barely had time to shower (I made time for that though) and eat this week. Chaos. It has been utter chaos.

But I somehow made it out alive... until finals week that is. Here's how I kept kinda sane:

1. Lists
I know I sound like the crazy list lady, but I made a master list Sunday night and would tweak it each day based on how much I anticipated I could get accomplished that day. It was less overwhelming to look at my list with so much crossed off. Each morning when I looked at it, I would remind myself that it was possible to get it all done after how much I had accomplished the other days.

2. Meals were Meals
A lot of times I'll meet friends for dinner and we'll end up talking about school or working on school work. This week I tried to avoid bringing up school or the upcoming exams while eating. I talked solely about life and lived Grand Prix vicariously through those who have less grueling schedules.

3. Reading
I made sure to read to relax my mind before I feel asleep. Even if it was two pages- which it often was after reading notes and books for hours - and it was midnight, I wanted to give myself that little bit of relaxation. My mind would still race as I fell asleep, but it was more for me to mentally say that I was relaxed than anything.

4. Future Promises
This worked more than anything, I think. I kept telling myself that Thursday at 10:00, my hard work will have paid off and I could be a normal Purdue student during Grand Prix. Although I came home from my exam and watched Legally Blonde instead, the idea of finally getting out and socializing got me through my to-do list.

Today and tomorrow morning I'm going to try to take it as easy as possible. My crazy schedule starts back up Sunday with all day PUDM fundraising, so I'll have to work on some homework before then. But luckily this upcoming week is "dead" week (read: profs hurry to get you as much information before the final as possible aka more stress) so a few classes are cancelled. It's crazy to think that I have less than two weeks of my freshman year left. I'll be moving home... to where I still have no summer job or volunteer opportunities completely set up.

Cue the continued stress... I guess it'll never end! 

Always Believe...

I've been in a kind of slump lately

between finals and getting ready to be home for a month, life has been a whirlwind lately. To add to that, I've had my own form of self-induced stress about the most ridiculous things like relationships, food/ weight, and greek life. Yes, believe it or not I am a crazy over-thinker who reacts to stress by... putting myself under more stress. 

I guess this tactic isn't all bad, since my stress over the stupid stuff seems (in my mind) like a bigger deal than the pending exams, so studying is actually a "distraction" and a way to quit thinking about it. Because, if I put my phone on Do Not Disturb, then I won't have to constantly wonder if I'm getting a text- it wouldn't buzz anyways. If I study really hard I'll do well on my exams- something to "brag" about if I go through recruitment again. But, as soon as I put the books down for a break, I'm back to over-thinking. I'm back to measuring whether or not I'm cute based on the number of Instagram likes or comments. I'm back to falling into a Country music- induced depression. 

and through this vicious cycle, I'm forgetting to think beyond this moment

I was taking a much-needed study break when I came across this quote on Pinterest. And I remembered that in one week, I'll be home for a month. I'll have my first semester behind me, and many more ahead.  And yes, right now I have about a million and two thoughts zipping around my mind at a speed too high for me to register. Academic stress mixed with personal mixed with everything in else is a lot, and I have yet to find a way to quiet my mind. But I need to keep reminding myself that my worrying and over-thinking isn't doing anything to help me right now. There is always something wonderful in the future- 

no matter how rough the present or uncertain the future

"Think Like a Guy"

I've been watching Sex and the City from Season 1 lately, and one of the first episodes was about the male mind and how they think about life. Obviously, from a SatC standpoint, it was about relationships and sex- how guys can go without being attached or emotional. But this is not only apparent in relationships. Guys carry themselves with a sort of dominance and attitude that, when correctly used to their advantage, can have them toeing the line between confidence and arrogance perfectly. This attitude is what is so attractive to employers- men can get a job done without getting so attached that it causes emotional stress (for the most part). So, I've been keeping an eye out for the ways males interact through both observations and my own relationships to delve deeper into this idea of "thinking like a man."

Relationships

So, college has been fun when it comes to the guys- there are so many and they're all pretty good-looking! It's a good change from the small selection I've lived with the past 8 or so years, and going to such a big university means that there's certainly a guy that has the same interests that I, and every other girl on campus, have. This semester has been a roller coaster of emotion, but if I've learned one thing from the guys I've gotten to know, it's to not let emotion get in the way of life. If they're interested in someone, they make a move (or wait for the girl to make a move), but nothing drastic happens quickly. Especially as freshmen, they're keeping their options open and are using their free time to their advantage. 

As a girl, this is a new idea. Maybe it's just me, but I get attached quickly. I guess it's because I'm "picky" so when I find something I like- I make a point to show interest and hope that it's reciprocated. I want stability and security. Guys don't want that. Freshman Guys certainly don't want that. They're in sports, clubs, pledging, trying to manage their time and unhealthy drinking habits. And, because of this, they go with the flow. No attachment right away, and not necessarily a lot of effort to show interest. And where does that get them? Usually in a very happy, simple place where they have exactly what they want out of life- whether that be a bunch of random hookups or a steady girl. 

how do I take this as a girl? Well, I go with the flow too.  

Don't get stressed, and don't "claim" something that isn't yours.

School Work

I'm fortunate to go to a school where, for the most part, studies are prioritized above almost anything else. My peers are all extremely intelligent- usually more-so than myself. From study groups, labs, group projects, etc., I've been able to experience male vs. female working patterns a bit. What have I found? Guys seem to take more opportunities to get work done. While girls have distractions ...ahem, Pinterest, Tumblr, online shopping... guys tend to sit down, do the work, get it out of the way, and then have fun. Of course, most of the guys I work with are in my same area of study and realize the importance of time-management and prioritizing. But, most of the guys I've worked with have a "work 9-5" mentality that allows them to study and get work done. If it isn't done at their mental cutoff point, it won't get finished They're going to get their free time, be that the gym, a sporting event, or a party. 

I think that women work differently. I have a mentality that if I work hard for 45 minutes, I deserve a break. And, while this might work well for serious studying, everyday assignments and projects might not need this. Just switching up the assignment might be better than a break, and isn't as likely to get me started on a 15 min...2 hour... Pinning binge. 

what do I take from this? Get it done. Just sit down and get it done.

Stress

This is where I think guys differ most from girls- in every aspect of life. It's female nature to get emotionally involved in life, honestly. Guys? Not so much. Summing up what I've said before, they go with the flow. They take life for what it is. They work hard, take the opportunity when it arises, and are usually satisfied with the result. The confidence they have in themselves may sometimes be a man's worst enemy, but here it gives them the ability to not stress. And, while stress is sometimes good, there is a point where we've just got to let it go. 

I've been working on this mentality, as I think that stress is 100% my worst enemy when it comes to test-taking. I've been working on recognizing that there's a point where I've grasped to concepts that I can and I just need to rock that part of the exam... and pray desperately that I'm good at guessing.

guys don't get emotionally involved in life... and that's probably why they're so laid back all the time.

This is certainly not the most reliable information, as my "research" has been quite simple. But, I've been keen to observe to my best ability to understand the male mind... something I should have given up on the moment the idea popped into my head. But, hey it's been fun! I think there's a lot that I can learn about guys and how they interact with others. On the other hand, there's certainly a few tips that they could take from girls. But, I'll keep dreaming on that one! Until then, repeat after me:

I will...

go with the flow

take the opportunities I am given

avoid getting overly emotional over life events that don't really matter

The Cure...

This couldn't be more true. I'll pass on the tears, 

but I will gladly take the sea. 

Black Hole Shopping

There are plenty of times when I begin to feel overwhelmed or like I don't know what to do next. Shopping is typically not one of those times. I usually enjoy shopping. It is usually a form of therapy- the best form of therapy: retail therapy! But, with dorm shopping ahead of me I've been looking at all kinds of stuff that I want to get or feel that I need. And I'm overwhelmed.

First of all, these stores are like a black hole. I go into them (or log onto the website) and feel like my thoughts can't focus. There is so much that I need to think about for the future that I begin to panic! This is crazy to me! I'm usually so collected and organized; this is different, though. It's a mix of fear, excitement, and anxiety. Put together, I'm a mess in these big department stores.

this humorous representation is not-so-humorous anymore.

Let's start with the most obvious: IKEA. It's a known fact that the stores are purposely built like a maze. I've been in the stores many times before, but it's just different this time. I think it's because it's me picking out what I need... or think I need. Suddenly, I'm lost in the maze. I've given into their ploy!! I hate knowing that I've been defeated, and the thought of IKEA just screams "defeat" to me.

Now IKEA for the OCD is called the Container Store... and let me just tell you, it's a dream come true. Firstly, the place is alllll about organization, which I love. The problem? Too. Many. Choices. What style do I want? What do I want? Do I really need it? How broke am I going to be after today? These panicky questions flash across my mind just when I type in the web address.

Luckily, these mazes in my mind will be sorted out with one solution: momma! I'm still a little girl at heart and I need my mom. I plan on numerous shopping trips to get me ready for this next chapter of my life. Right now, I feel like these stores suck me in with no intentions on letting me get back out. Stressful? Yes. but, exhilarating?

absolutely.

The Early Bird Gets the Worm...

...or so the saying goes.

I've been an early riser my whole life. All through high school, while my friends sleep in until 12 or 1, I'm up early and getting stuff done. The thought of wasting my day away unconscious just makes me sick and stressed out. There is so much that can and has to be done... relaxation comes later! I take my relaxation time seriously, but it really does come at the end of my day. After about 10:00 pm, I shut down, log off, and relax. Before 10 am is a whole different story. 

For instance, today before 8 am, and the start of school, here's what I got done:

woke up/ got ready

packed my lunch

made eggs for breakfast

caught up on twitter, instagram, facebook from last night

went to the library and got a 30 min study session in

answered e-mails and spoke with teachers

went to class

While this pales in comparison to may favorite blogger, Carly, this is quite a list of accomplishments for pre-8 am! 

You've all heard the studies of the benefits of getting up early. Here's a completely unscientific reason for getting up: it makes me feel so much more prepared! Without my morning schedule and getting that start on my day, I would be an even more stressed out mess than I already am! While getting up early may seem horrific to some, it adds hours to my days and years to my life. I'd be a mess without my morning routine.

Are your mornings hectic and sporadic or calm and planned out?