About 6 months ago, I was going through an early-life crisis.
I had just moved to school and it wasn't
exactly what I had been anticipating. It seemed like everything was going the opposite of how I would have liked. I was being tested and tried every day; something was missing and I didn't know how to fix it. There was a point where I cam crying to my parents about how much I was hating my major. I seriously thought that I wanted to change from Pharmacy to something like journalism or law.
I'd heard that many college students change what they want to do at least once... sometimes more than that. As the type-A, plan-life-to-a-T person, I couldn't fathom that. Not until I realized that I never
chose Pharmacy- it was thrown at me and I ran with it (
which is extremely spontaneous and out of character, now that I think about it). And so I figured that maybe I'd need to change my major in oder to be happy. But that wasn't the case, at all. Because as much as I love blogging and fashion and art, it's not my forté. Not at all. But there was definitely something that needed to be changed, and I can confidently say that I think I may be on the right track now so I'd like to share what I went through.
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Thank goodness for sensible parents.
That is- first and foremost- what I have to say about this whole ordeal. They held me as I cried and told them that I was certain Pharmacy was not for me, and that a glamorous life of living in NYC and somehow getting the perfect internship (with no experience or prior interest in art, fashion, or literature) was actually feasible. Not to say that one shouldn't believe in themselves, but there's definitely a point at which the heart goes on a roll before the mind has a chance to catch up. But, once I spilled my heart out, they spoke words of encouragement and love into me. They reminded me that the lifestyle I wanted couldn't be sustained on a journalist's income, and that I was naturally gifted in the science fields. They reminded me of the work I did in high school to get to where I was and that I would, someday, become a great Pharmacist.
It wasn't what I wanted to hear. Not at all. But I took it to heart and agreed that I hadn't given Pharmacy the best of me yet. We made a deal- that I give the classes a bit more time, do some job shadowing, and see if I get to liking it any more. If, in a few months, I still hated the major and still wanted to be a writer they'd support me through whatever. It seemed like a good enough idea to me, and I went back to school with a new outlook-
Try it out.
I dove into learning about the different career paths. I contacted different pharmacists to set up job shadowing opportunities. I worked on making friends within my major. This made classes more fun and the job shadowing has actually gotten me so excited to learn more about actual pharmaceuticals and less about general education. I love being at school now, classes are challenging but interesting, and I obviously still love to write. I just use it as an outlet rather than my #1 thing that I do. Because, as much as I love it, I also love the art that I've found in Pharmacy. Organic Chemistry kicks my butt on a daily basis, but it is the most intricate, fascinating concept. The human body and the way is has been built is so complex and so beautiful, and there's something wonderful about knowing that I'll someday be able to understand all of its inter-workings and how I can use chemistry and biology to make the lives of others better.
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Who knows where I'll be a year from now. I might have just been accepted to pharmacy school. I may have been accepted to more than one and have a big decision on my plate. I may have been rejected, in which case I'll be re-thinking everything. Life may test me and beat me down again in the near future, but for now I am content. I'm more than content- I'm happy. College is a blast and my classes are... interesting. Six months ago, I wasn't thinking this is where I would have wanted to be. But I think that actually giving college- all of it, from social to academic to spiritual- a chance was just what the doctor ordered.
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